Snowbot's World: Can America Afford to Turn Her Back to Zombies?

It's late at night and you are driving home in your Lexus LS, with your Starbucks in one hand and your cellphone to your ear. You reach your destination and leave your car with the intent of entering your suburban home and sitting down to Sex and the City. But you stop short as you hear your trash can being knocked over from somewhere obscurred by shadows. "Who's there!?" you call out in a strained voice. Out of the shadows a silhouette forms, gradually transforming into an undead creature....

BAM! You blast the zombie with your pistol right in between the eyes. It falls like dead weight, and you drag him into the garbage.

You make me sick.

People today are too easily swayed by all the media hype about zombies being dangerous, zombies eating people, zombies vomitting acid, yaddayaddayadda. In short, its steaming pile of politically aimed bullshit. I am sick of listening to sound bytes of George Dubbuya talking about the crises our nation is in. This "War on Zombies". As proven by visionaries like George Romero, zombies can in fact be tamed and utilized for the benefit of mankind. ZOMBIES ARE AMERICAS GREATEST UNTAPPED RESOURCE.

Think of what the domestication of the common zombie could do for society. Got a mouse problem and your cat wont get off its fuzzy little ass? No problem, just dont feed the zombie for a day and it will be drooling all over the house for the little critters. Are you a special needs individual who is tired of waiting on the absurdly long list of people waiting for a seeing eye dog? Three words: seeing eye zombie. Are you afraid for your families security but dont want to risk keeping a gun in the home? Fence a zombie within your yard. World hungar? Eat zombies. War on Terror? Send zombies to Iraq. You want to create jobs in America? Then why are we throwing away such potential markets as zombie hunting, zombie taming, not to mention the manufacture of zombie feed and other countless merchendising oportunities.

All I am saying is this: Next time you see a wild zombie trying to find some raw meat in your gargage can, have a heart. Think twice before putting a hole in its head. It was once a person like you or me. Lets do the humane thing and enslave them for the benefit of us still living. Ensure your children the future they deserve.